In the cold, chaotic corridors of the Serroco conflict, one name has become synonymous with valor, tactical brilliance, and—bizarrely—independent starship logistics: Mador Anami, Ranger One of the Antarian Rangers.

Known across the sector as a fearsome fighter ace and commander, Anami has recently taken on a side hustle that’s wreaking absolute havoc—not on the battlefield, but in the paranoid imagination of Bork Shalas, the nervous warlord leading the Son-tuul Pride.

You see, with Zann raids so infrequent, and long stretches of “hurry up and wait” becoming the norm in the Serroco system, Mador has been moonlighting as a freelance space-mover. Whether it’s shifting old starfighters between rebel fleets or towing broken-down blockade runners for repair, Anami’s now personally responsible for more suspicious rebel-aligned traffic than a Bothan arms deal on sale day.

And Bork? Bork is not handling it well.

According to declassified audio intercepted by rebel slicers, every new ship Mador jumps into Serroco with is interpreted as the arrival of an entirely new faction.

• “THE BLUE STAR DOMINION HAS ENTERED THE WAR! THEY HAVE STEALTH CRUISERS!”
• “THE JAWAS?! THEY’RE BRINGING SAND INTO SPACE NOW?!”
• “IS THAT A PARTISAN CORVETTE?! WHY IS IT ON FIRE?”
• “THE EXCHANGE?! I OWE THEM MONEY!!”
• “THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND THE RESISTANCE?? AT THE SAME TIME?! THAT’S REDUNDANT!”

Even as he rakes in a few credits and earns goodwill among the wider rebel community, Mador is plagued by a singular recurring worry: leaving La-La Ju in charge of the Ranger carrier.

As one anonymous flight officer put it:

“Every time he suits up for a transport run, he turns to me and says, ‘Promise me she won’t reprogram the mess droid again. I came back once and it only served soup… through a hose.’”

In fairness to La-La Ju—known across half the galaxy as the unpredictable, unfiltered Gungalorian—the last time Mador left her in command, the carrier was found broadcasting Hutt opera on all frequencies while a vibroaxe tournament was underway in the hangar bay. She also may or may not have sold one of the escape pods “to a Jawa with ambition.”

Still, her combat record remains unblemished, and her combat ability under fire unquestioned—it's just her downtime decisions that terrify the entire Ranger logistics division.

Meanwhile, Bork Shalas has reportedly assigned an entire analyst team to track “incoming rebel factions.” Their current count? Ten. Reality? Still just Mador. Now, Ranger crews have turned his supply runs into a Bingo style game with spaces like:

• “Blue Star Dominion sighting”
• “Bork screams about Jawas”
• “Mador asks if we can please not let La-La Ju run ‘mandatory karaoke drills’ again”
• “Czerka accuses Mador of tax evasion”

When asked for comment, Mador simply said, “Look, I’m just moving ships. If Bork wants to spiral into a state of full-blown rebel paranoia every time I fly by, that’s on him. Meanwhile, someone has to deliver those hyperdrive parts to the Partisans. Also—where is La-La Ju, and why did my personal shuttle just order me to ‘prepare for the ceremony’?”

As the war drags on and the Shadow Dominion grows more unhinged by the day, one thing remains clear: Mador Anami may be the most psychologically effective logistics officer in the galaxy.

And somewhere near Serroco, Bork Shalas is probably staring at a long-range scan of a disguised Jawa freighter and screaming,

“THEY’VE BROUGHT IN THE SAND WITCHES!”